Final Draft- writing guide

5 Basic steps to successful writing

According to Sommers, “The students place a symbolic importance on their selection and rejection of words as the determiners of success or failure for their compositions.” As a student writer, I also began to notice the same to be true about my writing as well as my other classmates. Students , and even professionals, struggle with writing because they worry too much about word choices, grammar, and punctuation and not enough about the content. I will provide 5 easy steps to help anyone successfully focus on their overall argument and content:

1) Find the beginning, 2)Find the best candidate for your point, 3)Go back to your thesis every once in a while to see if it matches the body, 4)Find each sections introduction and conclusion and 5)check your facts.

As a student writer

I. Find the beginning

Identify what will be your opening sentence. It can perhaps be something more vague than the focus of your paper that may raise questions or curiosity for the reader. Also, a more bold statement may be effective. This could serve as a successful eye opener that typically keeps the reader engaged and alert.

Here is an example of a bold introduction. This is bold because the words womanizer and revolutionist are attention grabbers and appeals to a reader’s curiosity. Also, setting up words that are contrast to each other, womanizer and revolutionist creates a bold statement, which is in contrast to a person who “honored the working class.” This provokes interest because people like heroes and in our society heroes that are often public servants (they usually fight for the common person often without payment of reward). In they say/I say also notes that the usage of a strong introduction will capture the attention of the attended audience. (see below)

“Diego Rivera was a womanizer, revolutionist and honored the working class. He was born in Mexico but studied in Europe where he became renowned for his paintings. He was then invited…”

II. Find the best candidate for your point

Per Nancy Sommer’s article, Revision Strategies of Student Writers and Experienced Adult Writers, “I ask major theoretical questions of my ideas, respond to those questions, and think of proportion and structure, and try to find a controlling.”

This part of your paper is the thesis. It should express your key point. This statement should also be reinforced in the conclusion as well.

A. Keep in mind that the thesis is typically the last sentence but not always of your introductory paragraph. In the example shown below the thesis is not exactly the last sentence. The writer identifies her key point in a very subtle way and that flows swiftly. (see example below)

“Diego Rivera was a womanizer, revolutionist and honored the working class. He was born in Mexico but studied in Europe where he became renowned for his paintings. He was then invited to join the “Art In Action Program” hosted by the 1940 season of the Golden Gate International Exposition on Treasure Island in San Francisco by Timothy Pflueger, who was a well- known architect. Timothy wanted Diego’s mural to be incorporated in the San Francisco Junior College Library; however, construction of the library was halted due to United States entry into World War II and Pflueger’s unexpected death. During this time Diego was part of the Mexican Muralist Movement and the Pan American Unity mural was the perfect opportunity to intertwine social realism and ancestral art. Currently this mural is housed at the Diego Rivera Theater at City College of San Francisco.”

This is acceptable yet could be stronger. It could be stronger because it seems that it only covers one solid point in the thesis when it should cover several. It is a bit on the vague side. What happens after, the Pan American Unity could be mentioned. It could have more details.

B. Here is another example of a stronger thesis that covers multiple points that will be covered through the body. (See underline below) It is direct and clear. Notice how the thesis statement does not appear sooner in the paragraph. The main focus is elaborated on for some time before mentioning what will be talked about in the paper. (see example below)

“Many Americans face countless concerns and uncertainties when confronting the central facts of our health care system. A few out of the many reasons that contribute to these doubts are those who have health insurance see a rising cost in prescriptions and treatment prices; all of which create negative and unhealthy side effects. For those who cannot pay for allopathic medicine or simply want to look into alternative forms of treatment for enhanced results, there is a less costly and more long-term affective method. This method can also be used as prevention as well as self- healing therapy depending on the severity of the illness. This method lies in Reiki. Reiki has been proven to decrease anxiety, enhance clinical outcomes, and reduces symptoms of chronic conditions. It is easily accessible, low risk, easy to use, beneficial and causes no side effects. “Practitioners believe Reiki has the potential to rebalance the biofield at the deepest vibrational level, thereby removing the subtle causes of illness while enhancing over all resilience.” (Miles and True, 2003)

A good thesis statement should have a clear view of what you intend to prove. It should not be a simple summarization of facts from research. It should be well thought out.

III. Go back to your thesis every once in a while to see if it matches the body

If you mention that you will be talking about x, y and z in the thesis make sure that those three points are covered in your paper and turned into large sections. Everything must tie together. If one point in your thesis is vaguely mentioned in the body go back and elaborate on it more. (see below)

“Diego Rivera was a womanizer, revolutionist and honored the working class. He was born in Mexico but studied in Europe where he became renowned for his paintings. He was then invited to join the “Art In Action Program” hosted by the 1940 season of the Golden Gate International Exposition on Treasure Island in San Francisco by Timothy Pflueger, who was a well- known architect. Timothy wanted Diego’s mural to be incorporated in the San Francisco Junior College Library; however, construction of the library was halted due to United States entry into World War II and Pflueger’s unexpected death. During this time Diego was part of the Mexican Muralist Movement and the Pan American Unity mural was the perfect opportunity to intertwine social realism and ancestral art. Currently this mural is housed at the Diego Rivera Theater at City College of San Francisco.”

The conclusion reinforces the thesis on Diego Rivera’s artwork because it refers to the mural’s general but central representation. (see below)

“Diego had a conversation with Dorothy Puccinelli in reference to his main purpose for this mural which is stated as follows “I believe in order to make an American art, a real American art, (it) will be necessary (to have) this blending of the art of the Indian, the Mexican, the Eskimo, with the kind of urge which makes the machine, the invention in the material side of life, which is also the artistic urge—the same urge primarily but in a different form of expression.” Hence, I believe Diego did convey his message on the Pan American Unity Mural, in which he paid homage to both the ancestral side and machine side and all the working class people. Diego illustrated this by comparing the times in his mural North compared to South America. The unification of the ancestral side and machine side are both forms of art and progression that represent “All of America”.

IV. Find each sections introduction and conclusion

Each paragraph should have a conclusion that will lead into the next paragraphs introduction smoothly. The conclusion should have something to do with the following introduction. This keeps the reader from getting confused. (see below)

Here is a great example of the conclusion and introduction working together.

“Detection of such imbalances allows the practitioner to cleanse the patient from negative feelings, emotions and physical burdens. (Intelihealth) According to practitioners, all of the body systems can be covered within 30 to 90 minutes. (Intelihealth)

Patients claimed to have felt warmth, tingling, sleepiness, relaxation or invigoration during sessions. (Intelihealth) These are positive side effects of Reiki. The sensations are an indication that the practice is effectively working. When done properly, one’s spiritual well-being is….”

This works well because the last sentence is talking about how all the body systems can be covered in 30-90 minutes and in the next paragraph it talks about how patients claimed to have felt warmth, tingling, sleepiness, relaxation or invigoration during sessions. This ties up nicely because all these sensations can be felt during the 30-90 minute coverage of the human body systems that was mentioned in the previous paragraph’s last sentence. They are within the same subject and slowly change the subject as the paragraph progresses. The next subject is stated and the next paragraph will have a sentence that is within the same subject of the last paragraph and so on. “To keep an audience engaged, a writer needs to explain what he or she is responding to-either before offering that response or at least, very early in the discussion.” (Bizzel 18)

V. Check your facts

Check your facts and make sure that they are not embellished with words such as vehemently, largely and/or overt. As a writer it is important that you have credibility. The reader must feel confident when reading facts. Citing and quoting will help immensely.

Here is a perfect example of a non-embellished fact. (see below)

“This includes state anxiety, blood pressure, galvanic skin response, muscle tension, and skin temperature that was monitored prior to, thought and after the Reiki session. (Miles and True 2003)”

In conclusion, it is crucial to focus on getting your point across when writing a paper. Per Sommers’, “Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere. Start by getting something—anything—down on paper.” Grammar and other errors can be revised when the paper is done. It is best to focus solely on getting your point across rather than focusing on numerous things at once. This can be difficult if multi-tasking is not your specialty and more so if neither is writing. Another way of making writing easier is doing proper research. This will help with your interest level if you are already not fascinated on the topic. When proper research is not done writing takes longer due to excessive back and forth shuffling through notes. This may encourage writer’s block. When this occurs it is best sometimes to force yourself to get your words down. These words may not be useful in the end although it is a great way to exercise your brain. In doing so, the process will shorten, and your thesis, body and conclusion will tie up successfully. You have the ability and creativity to become a successful writer.

draft#2 - writing guide

5 Basic steps to successful writing

Writing is a form of art. The beauty of putting words together to form your own expression or point of view is a creation in itself. This form of art has more freedom than you think. Don’t let guidelines fool you. There are over two hundred thousand words in the English dictionary. This leaves room for countless options. As a student writer, I have experienced many blocks in the past due to what I thought were restrictions causing me to have anxieties. For example, I disproportionately concerned myself with technicalities such as: MLA format, number of pages, grammar, structure, punctuation and repetition of words. Later, through extensive writing, I have come to realize that practice makes perfect. Writing is like a research project. The only way to gain confidence in writing is by doing more of it and by exploring new ideas in making it work for you. For example, I realized that the MLA format actually creates a more smoothly organized paper. I started to think of guidelines as helpful tools rather than restrictions. And don’t get hung up on word choices; worry about this during the revision process, which is also known as rough drafts. I went through many struggles in writing to get to the confidence I have now. Be patient and have fun with it. Don’t let letter grades or teacher’s criticisms distract you from becoming a successful writer. Just remember content is key.

As a student writer

I. Find the beginning

Identify what will be your opening sentence. It can perhaps be something more vague than the focus of your paper that may raise questions or curiosity for the reader. Also, a more bold statement may be effective. This could serve as a successful eye opener that typically keeps the reader engaged and alert.

Here is an example of a bold introduction. This is bold because the words womanizer and revolutionist are attention grabbers and appeals to a reader’s curiosity. Also, setting up words that are contrast to each other, womanizer and revolutionist creates a bold statement, which is in contrast to a person who “honored the working class.” This provokes interest because people like heroes and in our society heroes that are often public servants (they usually fight for the common person often without payment of reward). In they say/I say also notes that the usage of a strong introduction will capture the attention of the attended audience.

“Diego Rivera was a womanizer, revolutionist and honored the working class. He was born in Mexico but studied in Europe where he became renowned for his paintings. He was then invited…”

II. Find the best candidate for your point

This part of your paper is the thesis. It should express your key point. This statement should also be reinforced in the conclusion as well.

Keep in mind that the thesis is typically the last sentence but not always. In the example shown below the thesis is not exactly the last sentence. The writer identifies her key point in a very subtle way and flows swiftly.

“Diego Rivera was a womanizer, revolutionist and honored the working class. He was born in Mexico but studied in Europe where he became renowned for his paintings. He was then invited to join the “Art In Action Program” hosted by the 1940 season of the Golden Gate International Exposition on Treasure Island in San Francisco by Timothy Pflueger, who was a well- known architect. Timothy wanted Diego’s mural to be incorporated in the San Francisco Junior College Library; however, construction of the library was halted due to United States entry into World War II and Pflueger’s unexpected death. During this time Diego was part of the Mexican Muralist Movement and the Pan American Unity mural was the perfect opportunity to intertwine social realism and ancestral art. Currently this mural is housed at the Diego Rivera Theater at City College of San Francisco.”

This is acceptable yet could be stronger. Here is another example of a stronger thesis that covers multiple points that will be covered through the body. It is direct and clear. Notice how the thesis statements do not appear sooner in the paragraph. The main focus is elaborated on for some time before mentioning what will be talked about in the paper.

“Many Americans face countless concerns and uncertainties when confronting the central facts of our health care system. A few out of the many reasons that contribute to these doubts are those who have health insurance see a rising cost in prescriptions and treatment prices; all of which create negative and unhealthy side effects. For those who cannot pay for allopathic medicine or simply want to look into alternative forms of treatment for enhanced results, there is a less costly and more long-term affective method. This method can also be used as prevention as well as self- healing therapy depending on the severity of the illness. This method lies in Reiki. Reiki has been proven to decrease anxiety, enhance clinical outcomes, and reduces symptoms of chronic conditions. It is easily accessible, low risk, easy to use, beneficial and causes no side effects. “Practitioners believe Reiki has the potential to rebalance the biofield at the deepest vibrational level, thereby removing the subtle causes of illness while enhancing over all resilience.” (Miles and True, 2003)

A good thesis statement should have a clear view of what you intend to prove. It should not be a simple summarization of facts from research. It should be well thought out.

The conclusion reinforces the thesis on Diego Rivera’s artwork because it refers to the mural’s general but central representation.

“Diego had a conversation with Dorothy Puccinelli in reference to his main purpose for this mural which is stated as follows “I believe in order to make an American art, a real American art, (it) will be necessary (to have) this blending of the art of the Indian, the Mexican, the Eskimo, with the kind of urge which makes the machine, the invention in the material side of life, which is also the artistic urge—the same urge primarily but in a different form of expression.” Hence, I believe Diego did convey his message on the Pan American Unity Mural, in which he paid homage to both the ancestral side and machine side and all the working class people. Diego illustrated this by comparing the times in his mural North compared to South America. The unification of the ancestral side and machine side are both forms of art and progression that represent “All of America”.

III. Go back to your thesis every once in a while to see if it matches the body

If you mention that you will be talking about x, y and z in the thesis make sure that those three points are covered in your paper and turned into large sections. Everything must tie together. If one point in your thesis is vaguely mentioned in the body go back and elaborate on it more.

IV. Find each sections introduction and conclusion

Each paragraph should have a conclusion that will lead into the next paragraphs introduction smoothly. The conclusion should have something to do with the following introduction. This keeps the reader from getting confused.

Here is a great example of the conclusion and introduction working together.

“Detection of such imbalances allows the practitioner to cleanse the patient from negative feelings, emotions and physical burdens. (Intelihealth) According to practitioners, all of the body systems can be covered within 30 to 90 minutes. (Intelihealth)

Patients claimed to have felt warmth, tingling, sleepiness, relaxation or invigoration during sessions. (Intelihealth) These are positive side effects of Reiki. The sensations are an indication that the practice is effectively working. When done properly, one’s spiritual well-being is….”

V. Check your facts

Check your facts and make sure that they are not embellished with words such as vehemently, largely and/or overt. As a writer it is important that you have credibility. The reader must feel confident when reading facts. Citing and quoting will help immensely.

Here is a perfect example of a non-embellished fact.

“This includes state anxiety, blood pressure, galvanic skin response, muscle tension, and skin temperature that was monitored prior to, thought and after the Reiki session. (Miles and True 2003)”

The tone is not too strong nor is it aggressive.

In conclusion, it is crucial to focus on getting your point across when writing a paper. Grammar and other errors can be revised when the paper is done. It is best to focus solely on getting your point across rather than focusing on numerous things at once. This can be difficult if multi-tasking is not your specialty and more so if neither is writing. Another way of making writing easier is doing proper research. This will help with your interest level if you are already not fascinated on the topic. When proper research is not done writing takes longer due to excessive back and forth shuffling through notes. This can encourage writers block. When this occurs it is best sometimes to sort of force yourself to get your words down. These words may not be useful in the end although it is a great way to exercise your brain. In doing so, the process will shorten and your thesis, body and conclusion will tie up successfully. Do not let grades get in the way. You can be a great author. Remember, always keep in mind that we all like different literature.

Guide to Writing Assignment- Draft

5 Basic steps to successful writing

I. Find the beginning

Identify what will be your opening sentence. Perhaps something more vague than the focus of your paper that may raise questions or curiosity for the reader. Also, a more bold statement may be effective. This could serve as a successful eye opener that typically keeps the reader engaged and alert.

Here is an example of a bold introduction.

“Diego Rivera was a womanizer, revolutionist and honored the working class. He was born in Mexico but studied in Europe where he became renowned for his paintings. He was then invited…”

II. Find the best candidate for your point

This part of your paper is the thesis. It should express your key point. This statement should also be reinforced in the conclusion as well.

Keep in mind that the thesis is typically the last sentence but not always. In the example shown below the thesis is not exactly the last sentence. The writer identifies her key point in a very subtle way and flows swiftly.

“Diego Rivera was a womanizer, revolutionist and honored the working class. He was born in Mexico but studied in Europe where he became renowned for his paintings. He was then invited to join the “Art In Action Program” hosted by the 1940 season of the Golden Gate International Exposition on Treasure Island in San Francisco by Timothy Pflueger, who was a well- known architect. Timothy wanted Diego’s mural to be incorporated in the San Francisco Junior College Library; however, construction of the library was halted due to United States entry into World War II and Pflueger’s unexpected death. During this time Diego was part of the Mexican Muralist Movement and the Pan American Unity mural was the perfect opportunity to intertwine social realism and ancestral art. Currently this mural is housed at the Diego Rivera Theater at City College of San Francisco.”

This is acceptable yet could be stronger. Here is another example of a stronger thesis that covers multiple points that will be covered through the body. It is direct and clear. Notice how the thesis statements do not appear sooner in the paragraph. The main focus is elaborated on for some time before mentioning what will be talked about in the paper.

“Many Americans face countless concerns and uncertainties when confronting the central facts of our health care system. A few out of the many reasons that contribute to these doubts are those who have health insurance see a rising cost in prescriptions and treatment prices; all of which create negative and unhealthy side effects. For those who cannot pay for allopathic medicine or simply want to look into alternative forms of treatment for enhanced results, there is a less costly and more long-term affective method. This method can also be used as prevention as well as self- healing therapy depending on the severity of the illness. This method lies in Reiki. Reiki has been proven to decrease anxiety, enhance clinical outcomes, and reduces symptoms of chronic conditions. It is easily accessible, low risk, easy to use, beneficial and causes no side effects. “Practitioners believe Reiki has the potential to rebalance the biofield at the deepest vibrational level, thereby removing the subtle causes of illness while enhancing over all resilience.” (Miles and True, 2003)

The conclusion reinforces the thesis on Diego Rivera’s artwork because it refers to the mural’s general but central representation.

“Diego had a conversation with Dorothy Puccinelli in reference to his main purpose for this mural which is stated as follows “I believe in order to make an American art, a real American art, (it) will be necessary (to have) this blending of the art of the Indian, the Mexican, the Eskimo, with the kind of urge which makes the machine, the invention in the material side of life, which is also the artistic urge—the same urge primarily but in a different form of expression.” Hence, I believe Diego did convey his message on the Pan American Unity Mural, in which he paid homage to both the ancestral side and machine side and all the working class people. Diego illustrated this by comparing the times in his mural North compared to South America. The unification of the ancestral side and machine side are both forms of art and progression that represent “All of America”.

III. Go back to your thesis every once in a while to see if it matches the body

If you mention that you will be talking about x, y and z in the thesis make sure that those three points are covered in your paper and turned into large sections. Everything must tie together. If one point in your thesis is vaguely mentioned in the body go back and elaborate on it more.

IV. Find each sections introduction and conclusion

Each paragraph should have a conclusion that will lead into the next paragraphs introduction smoothly. The conclusion should have something to do with the following introduction. This keeps the reader from getting confused.

Here is a great example of the conclusion and introduction working together.

“Detection of such imbalances allows the practitioner to cleanse the patient from negative feelings, emotions and physical burdens. (Intelihealth) According to practitioners, all of the body systems can be covered within 30 to 90 minutes. (Intelihealth)

Patients claimed to have felt warmth, tingling, sleepiness, relaxation or invigoration during sessions. (Intelihealth) These are positive side effects of Reiki. The sensations are an indication that the practice is effectively working. When done properly, one’s spiritual well-being is….”

V. Check your facts

Check your facts and make sure that they are not embellished with words such as vehemently, largely and/or overt. As a writer it is important that you have credibility. The reader must feel confident when reading facts. Citing and quoting will help immensely.

Here is a perfect example of a non-embellished fact.

“This includes state anxiety, blood pressure, galvanic skin response, muscle tension, and skin temperature that was monitored prior to, thought and after the Reiki session. (Miles and True 2003)”

The tone is not too strong nor is it aggressive.

In conclusion, it is crucial to focus on getting your point across when writing a paper. Grammar and other errors can be revised when the paper is done. It is best to focus solely on getting your point across rather than focusing on numerous things at once. This can be difficult if multi-tasking is not your specialty and more so if neither is writing. Another way of making writing easier is doing proper research. This will help with your interest level if you are already not fascinated on the topic. When proper research is not done writing takes longer due to excessive back and forth shuffling through notes. This can encourage writers block. When this occurs it is best sometimes to sort of force yourself to get your words down. These words may not be useful in the end although it is a great way to exercise your brain. In doing so, the process will shorten and your thesis, body and conclusion will tie up successfully. Do not let grades get in the way. You can be a great author. Remember, always keep in mind that we all like different literature.

ideas for academic writing guide

I think I will incoporate all my papers into to this assignment/ a guide to writing and break it down in 3 sections. I think I want to focus on sommers for me that is what I learned the most from but we shall see. I probably will use the writing for college as a template for my paper.
I will use the They say/I say in reference to the gatto essay I wrote - for structure and thesis?
I will use essay from Sommers for the revision section. And then maybe use my gatto paper to as my polished piece to incorporate everything I learned.

final- assignment #3

Diego Rivera Pan American Unity Mural

Diego Rivera was a womanizer, revolutionist and honored the working class. He was born in Mexico but studied in Europe where he became renowned for his paintings. He was then invited to join the “Art In Action Program” hosted by the 1940 season of the Golden Gate International Exposition on Treasure Island in San Francisco by Timothy Pflueger, who was a well- known architect. Timothy wanted Diego’s mural to be incorporated in the San Francisco Junior College Library; however, construction of the library was halted due to United States entry into World War II and Pflueger’s unexpected death. During this time Diego was part of the Mexican Muralist Movement and the Pan American Unity mural was the perfect opportunity to intertwine social realism and ancestral art. Currently this mural is housed at the Diego Rivera Theater at City College of San Francisco.

The “Pan American Unity” is a fresco mural constructed in five panels that move from left to right and that represent all of America—North America compared to South America. The murals colors are all earthy tones created from paints Diego made himself by using traditional natural pigments. I felt Diego painted the South using more vibrant and traditional usage of Latin colors creating a warmth feel. The North is painted with an industrial look and cold feeling. I believe the representation of the Golden Gate Bridge in the top right corner seems to signify a bridge between the two cultures and suggests San Francisco as a possible neutral meeting place between them.

When many people look at this mural, they see Diego’s attempt to unify North and South. While I find this interpretation valid, I also think it’s important to focus on Diego’s interest in socioeconomic issues. If we look at the images he uses, the layout of the panels and images, and his use of historical references throughout the mural, we can see the centrality of class issues for Diego.

I felt the most powerful panel is the middle panel or panel number three. On the left side of the central figure is the Aztec goddess Coatlicue. She is the goddess of life, death and earth. For the Aztecs she was “Lady of the Serpent Skirt,” goddess of all life, gods as well as humans, animate as well as inanimate (Rivera, 151). Coatlicue has her right hand fully extended in the air with four jade calluses representing wealth. Coatlicue believes when you work with the soil or earth you are wealthy she also depicts the South. The other half of this central figure is a auto plant-stamping machine, which most likely belongs to the Ford Motors Company. This unifying image represents the union of the North and South America, machine and plastic arts. At the bottom of the panel Frida Kahlo his wife and Mexican artist has a paint brush and palette in hand ready to work on a new portrait maybe depicting her passion for of the plastic arts. Behind Frida is Diego with Charlie Chaplin’s wife, Paulette Goddard planting the “tree of life” showing the closeness of Pan Americanism. Possibly even depicting his love affair with Paulette behind Frida’s back or Diego getting even with Frida for her affair with Trotsky. Above them is a wooden carving of a ram, which is the San Francisco City College’s mascot. On the bottom right corner of the panel Diego painted Timothy Pflueger. Timothy has his blue prints of the San Francisco City College Library in hand that was never built due to his sudden death.

The first panel’s theme “The Creative Genius of the South Growing form Religious Fervor and the Native Talent for Plastic Expression”. This panel shows the beginning of Mexico City and how it was derived with the high mountains and volcanoes. Quetzalcoatl a high priest is in the upper left hand corner teaching the Indians. The Indians are utilizing the earth by making their own gold jewelry, sculpting, carving, and painting, showing possibly where gold jewelry derived from and techniques in carving, painting etc. There is a portrait of Nezahualcoyotl, the king of Texcoco, bottom left hand corner; it looks like he is trying to make wings to fly, possibly played many roles- maybe an inventor of new ideology. There is a deer dancer at the top right corner of the panel. A feather serpent is coming out of their hut and crossing the land. The serpent’s head, which is made of stone, lands into panel two. The cross reference to this Panel is Panel five, “ The Creative Culture of the North Developing from the Necessity of Making Life Possible in a New and empty Land” it appears the top part of this panel is displaying the gold mining era. There are oil wells, a guy farming for new crop and the bottom half of this panel is Henry Ford and bottom left hand corner, Thomas Edison inventing the light bulb, Robert Fulton engineer of the first successful steamboat and an artist painting a wooden cigar Indian. This panel definitely represents ideology development in the north and the utilization of mother earth for natural resources.

Panel two begins the incorporation of the “Past and Present” which is cross referenced with panel four “Trends of Creative Effort in the United States, The Rise of Woman in Various Fields of Creative Endeavor Through her Use of the Power of Manmade Machinery”. At the top of Panel two it has Helen Crlenkovich a national diving champion doing a back flip in air above the bay bridge possibly during the worldfair with spectators watching her, while artisans are sculpting the stone serpent head. Marking what was happening at that present moment. While at the bottom of panel represents the past, in the background is the Liberty Tree and in front are the founders of independence that represents both north and South America, fighting for equality and against slavery at that same time period. At the bottom left corner of panel is the back of Diego painting a fresco mural and behind him are the local artisans creating their artwork. At the top of Panel four is a picture of Alcatraz Island and Treasure Island. Diego paints Emmy Lou Packard, his assistant and next to her is Frank Lloyd Wright, a famous architect and a little girl. There is a wooden sculptor carving a figurehead that looks like it would be made for a ship. There is a woman doing a back flip above everyone while a couple female fellow swimmers are watching and next to them is a women in a suit with blue prints possibly an architect. This upper panel definitely acknowledges the rise of women. The bottom half of this panel has the image of Hitler, Stalin and Mussolini all leaders in dictatorship. Charlie Chaplin is below them who created the film “ The Great Dictator” at the time of World War II. I believe this was symbolic in representing two different styles of leadership: totalitarian dictatorship that was occurring in Europe versus the belief system of liberty in America.

Throughout the North America panel, I believe Diego purposely separated the working class from the upper class, I felt Diego showed this by having the working class at the bottom of panel and upper class at the top. Also it appeared that there were no people of color- only the wooden Native American Cigar Indian that was being painted- for me depicting negative association that Native Americans are smokers. I felt that Diego maybe giving an underlying tone that racism and stereotype existed.

Diego had a conversation with Dorothy Puccinelli in reference to his main purpose for this mural which is stated as follows “I believe in order to make an American art, a real American art, (it) will be necessary (to have) this blending of the art of the Indian, the Mexican, the Eskimo, with the kind of urge which makes the machine, the invention in the material side of life, which is also the artistic urge—the same urge primarily but in a different form of expression.” Hence, I believe Diego did convey his message on the Pan American Unity Mural, in which he paid homage to both the ancestral side and machine side and all the working class people. Diego illustrated this by comparing the times in his mural North compared to South America. The unification of the ancestral side and machine side are both forms of art and progression that represent “All of America”.

Draft 2- of assignment #3

Diego Rivera Pan American Unity Mural

Diego Rivera was a womanizer, revolutionist and honored the working class. He was born in Mexico but studied in Europe where he became renowned for his paintings. He was then invited to join the “Art In Action Program” hosted by the 1940 season of the Golden Gate International Exposition on Treasure Island in San Francisco by Timothy Pflueger, who was a well- known architect. Timothy wanted Diego’s mural to be incorporated in the San Francisco Junior College Library; however, construction of the library was halted due to United States entry into World War II and Pflueger’s unexpected death. During this time Diego was part of the Mexican Muralist Movement and the Pan American Unity mural was the perfect opportunity to intertwine social realism and ancestral art. Currently this mural is housed at the Diego Rivera Theater at City College of San Francisco.

The “Pan American Unity” is a fresco mural representing all of America—North America versus South America. The murals colors are all earthy tones. Diego makes his own paint through traditional natural pigments. Diego painted the South using more vibrant and traditional Latin colors creating a warmth feel. The North is painted with an industrial look and cold feeling. Diego painted the Golden Gate Bridge in the top right corner signifying a bridge between two cultures (North and South), possibly San Francisco a neutral meeting place. The mural is constructed in five panels that went from left to right.

I felt the most powerful panel is the middle panel or panel number three. On the left side of the central figure is the Aztec goddess Coatlicue. She is the goddess of life, death and earth. For the Aztecs she was “Lady of the Serpent Skirt,” goddess of all life, gods as well as humans, animate as well as inanimate (Rivera, 151). Coatlicue has her right hand fully extended in the air with four jade calluses representing wealth. Coatlicue believes when you work with the soil or earth you are wealthy she also depicts the South. The other half of this central figure is a auto plant-stamping machine, which most likely belongs to the Ford Motors Company. This unifying image represents the union of the North and South America, machine and plastic arts. At the bottom of the panel Frida Kahlo his wife and Mexican artist has a paint brush and palette in hand ready to work on a new portrait maybe depicting her passion for of the plastic arts. Behind Frida is Diego with Charlie Chaplin’s wife, Paulette Goddard planting the “tree of life” showing the closeness of Pan Americanism. Possibly even depicting his love affair with Paulette behind Frida’s back or Diego getting even with Frida for her affair with Trotsky. Above them is a wooden carving of a ram, which is the San Francisco City College’s mascot. On the bottom right corner of the panel Diego painted Timothy Pflueger. Timothy has his blue prints of the San Francisco City College Library in hand that was never built due to his sudden death.

The first panel’s theme “The Creative Genius of the South Growing form Religious Fervor and the Native Talent for Plastic Expression”. This panel shows the beginning of Mexico City and how it was derived with the high mountains and volcanoes. Quetzalcoatl a high priest is in the upper left hand corner teaching the Indians. The Indians are utilizing the earth by making their own gold jewelry, sculpting, carving, and painting. There is a portrait of Nezahualcoyotl, the king of Texcoco, bottom left hand corner; it looks like he is trying to make wings to fly. There is a deer dancer at the top right corner of the panel. A feather serpent is coming out of their hut and crossing the land. The serpent’s head, which is made of stone, lands into panel two. The cross reference to this Panel is Panel five, “ The Creative Culture of the North Developing from the Necessity of Making Life Possible in a New and empty Land” it appears the top part of this panel is displaying the gold mining era. There are oil wells, a guy farming for new crop and the bottom half of this panel is Henry Ford and bottom left hand corner, Thomas Edison inventing the light bulb, Robert Fulton engineer of the first successful steamboat and an artist painting a wooden cigar Indian. This panel definitely represents ideology development in the north and the utilization of mother earth for natural resources.

Panel two begins the incorporation of the “Past and Present” which is cross referenced with panel four “Trends of Creative Effort in the United States, The Rise of Woman in Various Fields of Creative Endeavor Through her Use of the Power of Manmade Machinery”. At the top of Panel two it has Helen Crlenkovich a national diving champion doing a back flip in air above the bay bridge possibly during the worldfair with spectators watching her, while artisans are sculpting the serpent head. Marking what was happening at that present moment. While at the bottom of panel represents the past, in the background is the Liberty Tree and in front are the founders of independence that represents both north and South America, fighting for equality and against slavery at that same time period. At the bottom left corner of panel is the back of Diego painting a fresco mural and behind him are the local artisans creating their artwork. At the top of Panel four is a picture of Alcatraz Island and Treasure Island. Diego paints Emmy Lou Packard, his assistant and next to her is Frank Lloyd Wright, a famous architect and a little girl. There is a wooden sculptor carving a figurehead that looks like it would be made for a ship. There is a woman doing a back flip above everyone while a couple female fellow swimmers are watching and next to them is a women in a suit with blue prints possibly an architect. This upper panel definitely acknowledges the rise of women. The bottom half of this panel has the image of Hitler, Stalin and Mussolini all leaders in dictatorship. Charlie Chaplin is below them who created the film “ The Great Dictator” at the time of World War II. I believe this was symbolic in representing two different styles of leadership: totalitarian dictatorship that was occurring in Europe versus the belief system of liberty in America.

Diego had a conversation with Dorothy Puccinelli in reference to his main purpose for this mural which is stated as follows “I believe in order to make an American art, a real American art, (it) will be necessary (to have) this blending of the art of the Indian, the Mexican, the Eskimo, with the kind of urge which makes the machine, the invention in the material side of life, which is also the artistic urge—the same urge primarily but in a different form of expression.” Hence, I believe Diego did convey his message on the Pan American Unity Mural, in which he paid homage to both the ancestral side and machine side and all the working class people. Diego illustrated this by comparing the times in his mural North versus South America. The unification of the ancestral side and machine side are both forms of art and progression that represent “All of America”.

assignment #3-"real-life" writing

Diego Rivera Pan American Mural

Diego Rivera was a womanizer and revolutionist. He was born in Mexico but studied in Europe where he became renowned for his paintings. He was then invited to join the “Art In Action Program” hosted by the 1940 season of the Golden Gate International Exposition on Treasure Island in San Francisco by Timothy Pflueger. Timothy wanted Diego’s mural to be incorporated in the San Francisco Junior College Library; however, construction of the library was halted due to US’s entry into WWII and Pflueger’s death.

The “Pan American Unity” is an al fresco mural representing all of America—North America versus South America. Diego’s most powerful panel is the middle panel or panel number three. The Golden Gate Bridge in the top right corner symbolizes the bridge between two cultures – North and South. On the left side of the central figure is the Aztec goddess Coatlicue. She is the goddess of death and the earth. Coatlicue has her right hand fully extended in the air with four jade calluses representing wealth. Coatlicue believes when you work with the soil or earth you are wealthy she also depicts the South and ancestral side. The other half of this central figure depicts modernization and the North. The central figure is a auto plant stamping machine, which is most likely belongs to the Ford Motors Company. The auto plant stamping machine is the central figure to demonstrate the present. At the bottom of the panel Frida Kahlo his wife and Mexican artist has a paint brush and palette in hand ready to work on a new portrait. Behind Frida is Diego with Charlie Chaplin’s wife planting the “tree of life” showing the closeness of Pan Americanism. Possibly even depicting his love affair with Paulette behind Frida’s back. Above them is a wooden carving of a ram, which is the San Francisco City College’s mascot. On the bottom right corner of the panel Diego painted Timothy Pflueger. Timothy has his blue prints of the San Francisco City College Library in hand that was never built due to his sudden death. This panel informs the viewer of current events for the time period while incorporating the ancestral arts of the South.

The murals colors are all earthy tones. Diego makes his own paint through natural resources. Diego paints the South using more vibrant and traditional colors creating warmth. The North is painted with an industrial look and cold feeling. The cold feeling is due to the lack of light.

The first panel shows the beginning of Mexico City and how it was derived with the high mountains and volcanoes. Quetzalcoatl a high priest is in the upper left hand corner teaching the Indians. The Indians are utilizing the earth by making their own gold jewelry, sculpting, carving, and painting. A feather serpent is coming out of their hut and crossing the land. The serpent’s head which is made of stone lands in panel two. Panel two begins the incorporation of the past and present.

Assignment #3-"real-life" writing

Assignment #3

I have to write a 3-5 page written analysis of the "Pan American Unity" mural at the Diego Rivera Theater at City College of San Francisco.

Explain what you see as the main goal of the writing, its purpose is to become a mural expert and share my expertise with others through critical written essay that discusses Diego Rivera's Pan American Unity mural.

Explain what you see as the challenges you face as you begin to work on this piece of writing- what makes murals different than other forms of art , understanding the content of the artwork -the time period and the events that are happening when the piece was created and who are the people in the mural- what roles did they play and why did Diego include them in mural and my introduction.

Final Draft- Essay #2

Essay #2- Against School

After reading John Taylor Gatto’s article entitled “Against School”, my perception of what school stands for and its motives have drastically been altered. I initially believed that school was a sanctuary for knowledge, and it was implemented to create well-rounded, self- driven, ambitious individuals, who could positively influence the market and work place. I assumed that the purpose of school was to teach social norms, ethics, goal setting, time management, and self-control. I equally felt that teachers were there because of their passion to help and to fulfill an internal desire to help develop individuals to their maximum potential. I was under the impression that schools structure their curriculum to reflect current historical, political and environmental challenges that our society is faced with today. Furthermore, promoting the idea that school should be a safe haven for children to experience and be exposed to new cultures, different diversities, and offer their students the ability to gain life experiences through structured programs, clubs, and communities, then to see school as a factory or a prison was shocking. School was, at least before I read this article, a place for children to grow and become self driven, knowledgeable, and responsible adults. I too, was under the impression that school was implemented to make good citizens, better people and to aid people in achieving their personal best. However, post reading Gatto’s article I have been shown a new perspective of school that is very unsettling.

I never would have thought that schools were implemented as a strategic battle plan adopted from the Prussian empire which intended to “produce mediocre intellects, to hamstring the inner life, to deny students appreciable leadership skills, and to ensure docile and incomplete citizens- all in order to render the populace “manageable.” The key word being “manageable” is exactly what teachers strive for today and until reading this article I did not see it. Those teachers who struggle with “managing” their students are the ones who have a stronger negative view of children and are more incline to use destructive labels for children. Constructing a “factory” that nurtured children to be more interdependent on authority, they want kids to rely on people of power to dictate what is right from wrong, what is acceptable within their society, and to manufacture a society that questions nothing and follows orders efficiently. This is an underlying motive that when I was in school I was oblivious to. I did not have the historical knowledge base to analyze and disassemble why school was structure the way it was. Nor was I empowered enough to think beyond the scope of school and see the bigger picture as it correlated to social influence. In school those who challenged the instructor were ostracized from their student population and where outsourced to someone who held higher authorities. The vice principal’s job is to intimidate students to the point so that they break and conform to the schools social expectation of them. There are strict punishments in place for those who rebel and great rewards for those who conform. There is great validity in comparing compulsory secondary schooling with that of prison.

Prison like school is forced upon, and promotes change with an alternative motive, giving no power to those who are imprisoned (student or inmate). Prisoners are placed in designated wards to prevent uproar and conflict; they have set schedules, agendas and time frames. Those who do not meet these set rules, face disciplinary action. School too, has many similar attributes, such as laws requiring students to be involved for a set time period, student’s schedules set with an agenda that leaves little room for electives, and lack of teaching students to think “outside the box”. Students are expected to follow their “prison” rules and if they fail to meet and obey the authority, one is faced with suspension or possibly expulsion. Both realms utilize separation and categorization of populations as a tool for identification purposes. Inglis states that “dividing children by subject, age grading, and by constantly ranking children through testing… will separate the ignorant masses of mankind.” This quote means that through using separation and categorization both students and prisoners go through a selection process. For example, schools utilize placement testing as a way to dictate where a student will be placed and therefore promotes segregation in the sense of intelligence level. And, prisoners are assessed and assigned to specific ward and occupational tasks that reflect their initial placement within the prison ward. In essence, both prisoners and students become codependent on the system, hence not giving them any coping skills that could be used to deal with the realities of life. These systems perpetuate a lack of self-awareness, creativity and leadership, therefore causing a cyclical environment.

Inglis presents the idea that school posses six basic functions: adjustive or adaptive function, integrating function, diagnostic and directive function, differentiating function, a selective function and lastly a propaedeutic function. Adjustive or adaptive function is the notion that school denounces critical judgment, meaning no room for personal perspective within their curriculum because one cannot measure ones flexible obedience. Integrating function, also known as the “conformity function” intends to create a melting pot effect, when people go with the grain and conform then they are less of a threat and are predictable. The diagnostic and directive function is used to determine a child’s social goal. They do this through standardized testing and through school grades. Its function is to gauge a person’s weaknesses and strengths, in turn designating their proper social role within society. The differentiating function is used when schools begin to sort children post assessment into classes that shall reflect their social roles, then training students accordingly. Schools strictly provide book training and refrain from offering real life experience. This function totally goes against my initial perspective of school because how would you truly know if that job field is right for you without having firsthand experience. Life is all about choices and challenging yourself to go beyond societal dictations and be the best that you can be for yourself. The selective function goes hand in hand with Darwin’s theory. I am in agreement with this theory because people in my opinion are discriminated upon due to race, color, gender, and sexual orientation. The theory is emplaced to deter integration between varying cultures, social classes and intellects. The hope is to make those who are brighter not procreate with those who are not at their caliber. Lastly, the propaedeutic function selects the leaders who are the top of the hierarchy pyramid, causing the determination of the classifications within our society.

In conclusion, I see that school is as much about teaching conformity and sorting students into social roles as it is about manipulation. Before reading Gatto’s article I believed that the school system was fairly implemented to give everyone an equal right to an education and the skills set to successfully succeed in our economy. But after reading this article it made me realize that there are underlying motives within the schools system that promotes segregation, labeling and inferiority. For example, someone who does not do well on standardized testing is automatically rejected from State Universities. Hence, separating the so-called “elite” from the rest is prejudice and extreme bias. No one should have the power to make a judgment call on any one individual and reduce their chances for a better education and a chance to succeed. Just because one may not be intellectually equipped for taking tests does not mean that a student should be deprived the opportunity to attend a State University.

assignment 1- Final Draft

Assignment #1- Final Draft

In Nancy Sommers article it seems that there is a significant difference on how student writers and experienced writers view revision, as depicted by these two excerpts from her article, “The students understand the revision process as a rewording activity” and the experienced writer “It means taking apart what I have written and putting it back together again.” I was taught to revise and write in school from my English classes. My teachers always focused on grammar, punctuation, lexical repetition and structural errors rather than what I had to say in my paper. I was either told or it was written in red ink on my paper to “fix”, “change” or “re-do” my paper. This teaching has caused me to focus with more micro issues like the student writers in Sommers’ article, rather than my ideas, points or arguments like the experienced writer. Reading this article was an eye opener for me because I then reflected on my own writing to see how and why I write the way that I do when dealing with the concept of revision and writing papers.

Essentially, English courses caused me to focus more on lexical repetition as opposed to conceptual repetition as Sommers wrote in article. “The students place a symbolic importance on their selection and rejection of words as the determiners of success or failure for their compositions….” From my past experience I would agree to the above quote because I was taught to utilize the thesaurus dictionary in search of different words to express the same idea or feeling. For example, I had to write about a school field trip to the Exploratorium and I am trying to explain the feeling of being stimulated by the various artwork and science projects and my next step would be to look through the thesaurus dictionary to find different words for “stimuli” in order not to repeat the same word twice. The teacher would focus on the word choices, my spelling and grammar as opposed to the content or ideas that I had experienced on the field trip. I would write for the assignment and conform to what I thought the English teacher wanted rather than validating my creative beliefs and my ideas. Just as was stated by one student writer in Sommers, research, “The changes that I make are usually just marking out words and putting different ones in.”

Historically English students are taught structurally and my perspective is very similar to other student writers as described by Sommers. For example "re-doing means cleaning up the paper and crossing out" and another example described by Sommers "reviewing means just using better words and eliminating words that are not needed." The English phobia that creates lack of creativity or motivation to write contributes to a student writer to become fearful of writing due to no positive reinforcements of conceptual writing.

I feel conceptual revisions are lost in the process of writing because as a student writer you are more focused on word choice, sentence run-ons and fragment sentences etc. For me, this experience has decreased my desire to write. I feel “what’s the point, I will get a “C” anyways as long as my grammar and word choices are good. Another example, I remember writing papers about books I had read and the teacher was so focused on how it was structured clearly because all I saw was red ink everywhere as opposed to my interpretation of the book. As a student writer English writing does not seem creative and it goes with the experience that I have had in the past with English teachers. My past English teachers would always make comments on my papers “ too many passive words” or cross out words or circle misspelled words in red or black ink. The English teachers that I have experienced in my past have never included positive feedback causing me not to try my best and maintain a “C” average. I believe if teachers gave me positive feedback such as “ Great Job Yvonne, you might want to explore a few more ideas of what x y and z means” rather than focusing on my grammar mistakes it would have increased my interest in writing and perhaps increased my writing skills. Per Sommers’ article, the experience writer states, "My first drafts is usually very scattered. In rewriting, I find the line of argument. After the argument is resolved, I am much more interested in word choice and phrasing.” I really liked this line because I never really actually got to put any creative thoughts or “the line of argument” into any of my past English papers. Furthermore, I would have learned the concept of what effective writing is all about by doing rough drafts without caring about words or grammar and just focus on my idea and later write a final draft to clean up the paper.

In conclusion, after reading Sommers’ article in comparing student writers vs. experienced writers it has given me a new outlook of how to write a good paper. It also gave me an insight of how I use to write and why I did not like to write. Sommers’ article also helped me to identify the importance of revision and what constitutes revision, the difference between lexical and conceptual repetition. “I ask major theoretical questions of my ideas, respond to those questions, and think of proportion and structure, and try to find a controlling.” I really like this quote because you are questioning your ideas and really processing information instead of memorizing/focusing on words. I agree with Sommers’ article regarding revision strategies of student writers vs. revision strategies of experienced writers based on my personal experiences. I now believe what makes good writing is not how good the grammar is, but the “concept” or ideas that you have been conveying to your readers. Writing should not come from an overly structured place but from a creatively liberated place in the mind that can flow freely and passionately. When one is not preoccupied with structural confines, creativity will flow more fluidly, thus, producing a well written paper where ideas and thoughts are not lost during the editorial process.

Essay #2

Essay #2- Against School

After reading John Taylor Gatto’s article entitled Against School, my perception of what school stood for and its motives have drastically been altered. I initially believed that school was a sanctuary for knowledge. It was implemented to create well-rounded, self- driven, ambitious individuals, who could positively influence the market and work place. I assumed that the purpose of school was to teach social norms, ethics, goal setting, time management, and self control. I equally felt that teachers were there because of their passion to help and to fulfill an internal desire to help develop individuals to their maximum potential. I was under the impression that school the structures their curriculum to reflect current historical, political and environmental challenges that our society is faced with today. Again, promoting the idea that school should be a safe haven for children to experience and be exposed to new cultures, different diversities, and offer their students the ability to gain life experiences through structured programs, clubs, and committees, to see school as a factory or a prison was shocking . School was, at least before I read this article, a place for children to grow and become self driven, knowledgeable, and responsible adults. I too, was under the impression that school was implemented to make good citizens, better people and to aid people in achieving their personal best. However, post reading Gatto’s article I have been shown a new perspective of school that is very unsettling.

I never would have thought that schools were implemented as a strategic battle plan adopted from the Prussian empire which intended to “produce mediocre intellects, to hamstring the inner life, to deny students appreciable leadership skills, and to ensure docile and incomplete citizens- all in order to render the populace “manageable.” The key word being “manageable” is exactly what teachers strive for today and until reading this article I did not see it. Those teachers who struggle with “managing” their students are the ones who have stronger negative view of children and are more incline to use destructive labels for children. Constructing a “factory” that nurtured children to be more interdependent on authority, they want kids to rely on people of power to dictate what right from wrong, what is acceptable within their society and to manufacture a society that questions nothing and follows orders efficiently. This is an underlying motive that when I was in school I was oblivious to. I did not have the historical knowledge base to analyze and disassemble why school was structure the way it was. Nor was I empowered enough to think beyond the scope of school and see the bigger picture as it correlated to social influence. In school those who challenged the instructor were ostracized from their student population and where outsourced to someone who held higher authorities. The vice principals job is to intimidate students to the point where they break and conform to the schools social expectation of them. There are strict punishment emplaced for those who rebel and great rewards for those who are conform. There is great validity in comparing compulsory secondary schooling with that of prison.

Prison like school is forced upon, promotes change with an alternative motive and gives no power to those who are imprisoned (student or inmate). Prisoners are placed in designated wards to prevent uproar and conflict; they have set schedules, agendas and time frames. Those who do not meet these set rules, face disciplinary action. School too, has many similar attributes such as; law requiring students to be involved for a set time period, student’s schedules are set with an agenda that leaves little room for electives and is not taught to think “outside the box”. Students are expected to follow their “prisons” rules and if they fail to meet and obey their authority, one is faced with suspension or possibly expulsion. Both realms utilize separation and categorization of populations as a tool for identification purposes. Inglis states that “dividing children by subject, age grading, and by constantly ranking children through testing… will separate the ignorant masses of mankind”. This quote means that through using separation and categorization both students and prisoners go through a selection process. For example, schools utilize placement testing as a way to dictate where a student’s will be placed and therefore promoting segregation in the sense of intelligence level. And prisoners are assessed and assigned to specific ward and occupational tasks that reflect their initial placement within the prison ward. In essence, both prisoners and students become codependent on the system, hence not giving them any life skills that could be used to cope with the realities of life. These systems perpetuate a lack of self awareness, creativity and leadership, therefore causing a cyclical environment.

Inglis presents the idea that school posses six basic functions: adjustive or adaptive function, integrating function, diagnostic and directive function, differentiating function, a selective function and lastly a propaedeutic function. Adjustive or adaptive function is the notion that school denounces critical judgment, meaning no room for personal perspective, within their curriculum because one cannot measure ones flexible obedience. Integrating function, also known as the “conformity function” intends to create a melting pot effect, when people go with the grain and conform then they are less of a threat and are predictable. The diagnostic and directive function is used to determine a child’s social goal. They do this through standardized testing and through school grades. Its function is to gauge a person’s weaknesses and strengths, in turn designating their proper social role within society. Differentiating function is when school begins to sort children post assessment into classes that shall reflect their social roles, then training students accordingly. Schools provide strictly book training and refrain from offering real life experience. This function totally goes against my initial perspective of school because how would you truly know if that job field is right for you without having firsthand experience. Life is all about choices and challenging yourself to go beyond societal dictations and be the best that you can be for yourself. The selective function goes hand in hand with Darwins theory. I am in agreement with this theory because people in my opinion are discriminated upon due to race, color, gender, and sexual orientation. The theory is emplaced to deter integration between varying cultures, social classes and intellects. The hope is to make those who are brighter not to procreate with those who are not at their caliber. Lastly, the propaedeutic function selects the leaders who are the top of the hierarchy pyramid, causing the determination of the classifications within our society.

In conclusion, I see that school is as much about teaching conformity and sorting students into social roles as it is about manipulation. Before reading Gatto’s article I believed that the school system was fairly implemented to give everyone an equal right to an education and the skills sets to successfully succeed in our economy. But after reading this article it made me realize that there are underlying motives within the schools system that promotes segregation, labeling and inferiority. For example, someone who does not do well on standardized testing is automatically rejected from Ivy League schools. Hence, separating the so called “elite” from the rest, that itself it prejudice and extremely bias. No one should have the power to make a judgment call on anyone individual and reduce their chances for a better education and a chance to succeed. Just because one may not be intellectually equipped for taking tests does not mean that a student should be deprived the opportunity to attend an Ivy League school.

As a student, I recognized myself in Sommers' description of inexperienced writers.

As a student, I recognized myself in Sommers' description of inexperienced writers because of how I was taught to write. Sommers' gives examples that inexperienced writers did not use the term revision. When I write I look at the word choices I use and how many times I have used the word I also edit when I am writing as oppose to writing drafts I correct as I am writing so therefore causing me waste alot of time in editing as opposed to just writing down all my ideas and then cleaning up my ideas. It my past experience in all my previous english courses teachers were concerned more with format, spelling mistakes, sentence run ons as opposed to my ideas or what i really wanted to say, it was more like what i thought the teacher wanted to see and now reading th e differnce between the experienced writer and inexperienced writer and what it means i can really identify why i have such a phobia of writing english papers , i always felt it was not good enough or really want to try because in my head wahat is the point of writing i am just going to get a "C' so i will just do bare minimal and not really give much thought into the paper , by gettign red inked or letter grades has decreased my self confidentcet as awriter thinking that i really dont have the skills when in actually all i need to do is get down my ideas and then correct formating and grammar and all the other stuff into place at the end and then i can organize my thoughts. i never really use revision, i call it editing while i am writing just so i can gt the paper done and not really put my passion or creative thoughts into place. so i am trying to let go the learned behavior of an inexperienced writer and think more like an expereienced wrtier and just write everything down and then get back to it and realizeing it is not going to make much sense but and tjat is okay and I can do later because a paper is better when thought and revision is done to it and to keep in mind that famous authors masterpieces is not done in one session.

assignment 1 - Draft #3

Assignment #1- Draft #3.

In Nancy Sommers article it seems that there is a significant difference on how student writers and experienced writers view revision, as depicted by these two excerpts from her article, “ examples “. I was taught to revise and write in school from my English classes. My teachers always focused on grammar, punctuation, lexical repetition and structural errors rather than what I had to say in my paper. I was either told or it was written in red ink on my paper to “fix”, “change” or “re-do” my paper. This teaching has caused me to focus with more micro issues like the student writers in Sommers’ article, rather than my ideas, points or arguments like the experienced writer. Reading this article was an eye opener for me because I then reflected on my own writing to see how and why I write the way that I do when dealing with the concept of revision and writing papers.

Essentially, English courses caused me to focus more on lexical repetition as opposed to conceptual repetition as Sommers wrote in article. “The students place a symbolic importance on their selection and rejection of words as the determiners of success or failure for their compositions….” From my past experience I would agree to the above quote because (explain). I would write for the assignment and conform to what I thought the English teacher wanted rather than validating my creative beliefs and my ideas. Just as was stated by one student writer in Sommers, research, (put in another quote that supports my experience). I feel conceptual revisions are lost in the process of writing because as a student writer you are more focused on word choice, sentence run-ons and fragment sentences etc. For me, this experience has caused a phobia when I have to write an English paper. (I have to explain exactly with my experiences and the phobia it crated for me & put in a quote from a student writer if any) I personally become stressed out, have the thought of “what’s the point, I will get a “C” anyways and lose all interest in writing.

As a student writer English writing does not seem creative and it goes with the experience that I have had in the past with English teachers. My past English teachers would always make comments on my papers “ too many passive words” or cross out words or circle misspelled words in red or black ink. The English teachers that I have experienced never included positive feedback causing me not to try my best and maintain a “C” average. (Insert examples of positive feedback that I think would have been helpful to me and explain why it would have been helpful and explain been more constructive and effective than the typical comments.) Per Sommers’ article the experience writer states, "My first drafts is usually very scattered. In rewriting, I find the line of argument. After the argument is resolved, I am much more interested in word choice and phrasing.” I really liked this line because I never really actually got to put any thought really into any of my past English papers. I never got a chance to learn what revision really means. This ultimately would result in a loss of self that caused writers block. (Explain idea fully throw in example from article to support my point)

Historically English students are taught structurally and my perspective is very similar to other student writers as described by Sommers. For example "re-doing means cleaning up the paper and crossing out" and another example described by Sommers "reviewing means just using better words and eliminating words that are not needed." The English phobia that creates lack of creativity or passion to write contributes to a student writer to become fearful of writing due to no positive reinforcements of conceptual writing

The English phobia that I have experienced has created has created a lack of passion or desire to write. (I need to restate each of my arguments for above paragraphs & discuss what I have learned from this process of analyzing my writing)

In-class free write

1. what kind of argument are you trying to make in your essay? I was agreeing with the article that Sommers wrote regarding student writers and how they view revision vs. experienced writers. If i was part of that study I would have commented pretty much the same as the student writers.

2. How are you using the text in your draft? not sure

3. how have you organized your draft so far? Just started writing even though I am sure it does not flow at this time. My intro / opening statement I think is pretty good... I need to look at it again tomorrow and the next day to build it up. need to include more quotes

4. what do you like about your draft so far? introduction

IF you had to identify one sentence or passage that seems to to the heart of what you are trying to say, what would it be? what i view as redoing

5. What are you struggling with in your draft? More to write about-writers block... I did option one

what questions do you have? what else to include

what kinds of feed back would you like? suggestions of what i could elaborate on

assignment 1 - Draft #2

Assignment #1- Draft of option #1.

In Nancy Sommers article it seems that there is a significant difference on how student writers and experienced writers view revision. I was taught to revise and write in school from my English classes. My teachers always focused on grammar, punctuation, lexical repetition and structural errors rather than what I had to say in my paper. I was either told or it was written in red ink on my paper to “fix”, “change” or “re-do” my paper. This teaching has caused me to focus with more micro issues like the student writers in Sommers article rather than my ideas, points or arguments like the experienced writer. Reading this article was an eye opener for me to reflect on myself to see how and why I write the way that I do when dealing with the concept of revision and writing papers.

Therefore, English courses caused me to focus more on lexical repetition as opposed to conceptual repetition as Sommers wrote in article. “The students place a symbolic importance on their selection and rejection of words as the determiners of success or failure for their compositions….” From my past experience I would agree to the above quote. I would write for the assignment and conform to what I thought the English teacher wanted rather than validating my creative beliefs and my ideas. I feel conceptual revisions are lost in the process of writing because as a student writer you are more focused on word choice, sentence run-ons and fragment sentences etc. For me, this experience has caused a stigma when I have to write an English paper. I personally become stressed out, have the thought of “what’s the point, I will get a “C” anyways and lose all interest in writing.

As a student writer English writing does not seem creative and it goes with the experience that I have had in the past with English teachers. My past English teachers would always make comments on my papers “ too many passive words” or cross out words or circle misspelled words in red or black ink. The English teachers that I have experienced never included positive feedback causing me not to try my best and maintain a “C” average. Per Sommers article the experience writer states "My first drafts is usually very scattered. In rewriting, I find the line of argument. After the argument is resolved, I am much more interested in word choice and phrasing.” I really liked this line because I never really actually got to put any thought really into any of my past English classes and what revision really means. This loss of self ends up as writers block

Historically English students are taught structurally and my perspective is very similar to other student writes as described by Sommers, for example "re-doing means cleaning up the paper and crossing out" and another example described by Sommers "reviewing means just using better words and eliminating words that are not needed." The English stigma that creates lack of creativity or passion to write contributes to a student writer to become fearful of writing due to no positive reinforcements of conceptual writing

English Stigmatism that I have experienced has created has created a lack of passion or desire to write.